Family Doctor Books


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Family Doctor Books
Preview of Understanding Children's Behaviour

Normal development and behaviour

Normal problems

It is helpful to have an idea of how your child’s behaviour may change as he develops, so that you can recognise what is normal and when you should be concerned. Many types of normal behaviour can be problematic, and your tolerance levels for these may vary more with your mood than with the behaviour itself. A good understanding of normal problematic behaviour can help you respond appropriately and more sensitively to your child at a time when he needs you most.

All children vary and develop in their own way. Your child may be different from his peers, but whether he is considered normal will depend on the expectations of those around him. A typical ‘bookworm’ may be bullied in a non-academic environment or highly valued in an intellectual one. A child who is more interested in football than work may be seen as a hero in a local community, even if he can’t sit still in class, and yet would be deemed a failure in a strict academic school or family. A change of environment may be the solution if your child is not tolerated for being different.

It is up to you to encourage your child to take pride in what he is capable of and to praise him consistently for any achievements, whether they happen to be in football or maths.

Variation between cultures

What is considered to be ‘normal’ will not only vary from one child to another, but from one family or culture to another. If your child is from a different culture or background from her peers, she may be less tolerated simply because of that difference. In some cultures and families, behaviour that is accepted as normal in a boy would not be acceptable in a girl. Boys may be encouraged to be ‘macho’, aggressive and dominant, whereas girls may be expected to be submissive, caring and obedient.

Increasingly, today, families are more mobile and more multi-ethnic. They are less likely to have a support network, and more likely to be exposed to cultural differences. In this context, especially if you have moved to a new area, your child may be different from her peers and be teased as a result. She will almost certainly want to be like all the others and may put herself down for being different. It is up to you to encourage her to be proud of how and who she is.

Normal developmental milestones

You shouldn’t be over-anxious about your child’s progress, but it is important to keep a watch over her developmental milestones so that you can catch any problems early on. If you are worried about your child’s development, consult a health professional and/or her teacher for advice. Children with developmental problems often have more behavioural problems.

This book does not cover sexual development as sexual problems are not common in this age group. It is, however, discussed briefly under ‘Common behavioural problems’.

WHAT TO LOOK FOR IN NORMAL SOCIAL DEVELOPMENT: ABSOLUTE INDICATIONS FOR REFERRAL TO THE HEALTH VISITOR, NURSE OR GP
  • At any age – any loss of skills or language
  • By 12 months – no babble or gesture (for example, pointing)
  • By 18 months – no single words
  • By 24 months – no two word spontaneous (non-copied) words
RELATIVE INDICATIONS FOR REFERRAL
By age 2 to 3 and onwards:
  • Communication problems – language or non-verbal (for example, little or no smiling or social response)
  • Poor social skills, for example, lack of or no sharing of enjoyment
  • Poor imaginative play
  • Lack of interest in others, ‘in a world of his own’
  • Lack of or poor eye contact
  • Extreme emotional reactions and aggression to others
  • Rigidity and difficulty coping with change, leading to distress
  • Over- or under-sensitivitiy to stimuli, for example, light, sound, touch, taste
  • Odd or unusual behaviours, for example, hand flapping

Typical behavioural patterns and problems

Babies (the first year)

Initially, babies are totally dependent on you and rely on you to meet their every need. Your baby will be happiest if you respond sensitively and can calm him when he is upset. This includes making sure that he is comfortable, not only physically (warm, clean, fed and winded) but also emotionally. Babies need comfort, reassurance and emotional stability, especially when things don’t feel right. You can provide this by cuddling your baby, speaking to him in a gentle voice or singing to him and distracting him from upsets by walking him around and showing him interesting surroundings. Babies need the right level of stimulation: not too much excitement, yet enough stimulation to enable them to learn, and you can work this out by observing, listening and taking your cues from your child.

There is increasing evidence from early infant studies that the patterns of interaction between carer and child can predict behaviour at an older age. Parents who overwhelm their babies with demands to ‘perform’ in a certain way, talk at them or do things to them in an intrusive way without watching their cues are more likely to have children who avoid instructions from parents in later life, developing attention and behavioural problems. Those who respond sensitively, watching their child and developing a gentle ‘to and fro’ dialogue at the child’s pace, are more likely to be setting the foundations for positive social behaviour in a child. Tuning in early on to your child’s needs will set him up for life. You can make a huge difference by providing this for your baby.

Attachment

Over time, babies form a deep attachment to their main caregivers, but also benefit greatly from having good relationships with other people, such as their father, grandparents, close family, friends and other consistent, sensitive carers to whom they can also become strongly attached. The quality of the caring is more important than whether the person is a relative.

As long as a baby’s main attachment figure returns and she can develop trust that this will happen, she will thrive. If, however, your baby finds that most of the time you reject her when she needs you most, that you are unable to soothe her or that you are too exhausted to enjoy her, she will develop an insecure attachment to you. She may show this by being overly anxious and clingy (wanting to be near you all the time), being upset rather than pleased when she sees you after a separation, or even avoiding you and appearing to be independent without needing you.

If you are not the main carer, it may be difficult for you if your child seems to prefer a childminder or grandparent to you. However, if you have to work, as long as your child gets good enough day care and you spend some quality time with her every day, your child will also become attached to you, and will benefit in the longer term from the role model you provide as a working parent.

Separation

At first, babies don’t understand that people still exist when they aren’t there. Once your baby recognises that he is a separate person from you, and understands that you can remove yourself from him, he will also learn that you are not always there for him when he wants you. He is likely to become upset when he realises you are not coming back and thinks you have abandoned him. It is normal for your baby to want you to be nearby and to cry if you leave him, but with consistent sensitive caring, he will outgrow this in time. Babies need a few stable carers and have to learn that they will not be abandoned. By six or seven months of age, your baby may begin to be wary of strangers and continue to react in this way until he’s about 16 months. He’ll go on wanting to be near you for years to come, but the need will be less intense by the time he is three to four years old.

Crying

At first, a baby’s only way of communicating any distress is to cry, and all babies do it. Nevertheless, crying can be a distressing and unpleasant noise, and a stressed parent may feel overwhelmed by it, with feelings of anger, resentment and misery. Babies can’t be ‘spoiled’ and are too young to be manipulative. If their needs are met, they usually stop crying. If they don’t stop, this is because something feels wrong to them. Your task as the carer is to work out what is wrong and make it better, but also to recognise when you don’t know what is wrong and can’t make it better. At this point, you may need someone else’s help.

When your baby is crying, all you can do is go through a list of possible causes and solutions systematically, watching her responses. By watching and listening carefully, you will learn to tell one cry from another – for example, you’ll begin to recognise a tired cry from a cry of pain. Crying from colic usually starts at around two to three weeks and can be particularly distressing for both of you. Your baby may cry inconsolably and won’t go to sleep in the evening and may pull her knees up to her chest. Between attacks, she should seem happy and well. Gripe water may help, as will soothing and comforting your baby. However, in some cases a baby seems inconsolable. The good news is that babies usually outgrow colic by the time they are three to four months old. Your challenge is to survive that long!



It is not always possible to find a way to stop a baby crying and you mustn’t blame yourself or think that you have failed as a parent if your baby cries a lot.

Babies, like adults, are individuals and temperament is very important. Some babies have a regular sleep and feeding pattern, adapt easily to new situations and seem content most of the time, whereas others are much more unsettled and get upset by minor changes in their routine.

Some babies are naturally more difficult whatever you do, whereas others may be unwell, and it often takes a rota of unruffled adults to cope with the demands of such a child. If your baby will not stop crying, get help and advice without waiting until you are at the end of your tether. Some parents feel so stressed that they fear that they will harm their baby, and some do. Get help when you need it well before this stage from family, friends, your community network, social services or other agencies. Needing help is not admitting defeat and it does not mean that you are a bad parent.

COMMON REASONS FOR A BABY TO CRY
  • Discomfort
  • Hunger
  • Tiredness
  • Wind
  • Colic
  • Teething
  • Infections, such as coughs, colds or earache
  • Cows’ milk allergy

Toddler and pre-school (1–5)

Pre-school children can be delightful but they can also be extremely demanding and hard work. Toddlers don’t like being apart from their carers, want attention, are egocentric, active, impulsive and messy, constantly interrupt and show little respect, are stubborn and change their minds frequently, are sensitive to upset, excitement and tension, ask endless questions and may demoralise their parents but behave like angels for other people.



YOUR TWO YEAR OLD – WHAT TO EXPECT
  • All 2 year olds are active and hardly ever still (this reduces to 40 per cent by the age of four years)
  • 95 per cent want constant attention
  • 80 per cent whine and nag
  • 70 to 90 per cent fight or quarrel and are disobedient
  • 70 to 80 per cent have temper tantrums
  • 70 per cent talk back cheekily
  • 70 per cent soil and wet their pants during the day
  • 60 to 80 per cent cry easily
  • 50 to 70 per cent resist going to bed at night
  • Half wake in the night
  • Half are fussy about food
  • 40 to 60 per cent are jealous of or hurt a younger sibling
  • 40 per cent resist sitting on the toilet/potty

It is important to remember that this is also an exciting phase, as children develop physically, learn to think more logically and become more confident socially. They increasingly explore their surroundings, and learn through observation and interactions with their environment, social interactions and play. For this to happen, children of this age need plenty of stimulation, such as:

  • Books and toys appropriate for their age; these needn’t be expensive – pots, pans and spoons can be much more exciting to a two year old than a ‘designer’ toy.
  • A wide range of social contact with people of all ages, with the space, support and encouragement to develop mutually rewarding relationships.
  • Exposure to new and interesting opportunities and experiences at a pace that they can cope with: contact with animals, music, water, nature, painting, parties, etc.

Play, reality and fantasy

Children learn through play – it is the medium through which they develop socially, physically and academically. By the age of three years, they should have a fully developed sense of ‘make-believe’.

This is how they learn to exercise their imagination and creativity as well as to understand day-to-day and potentially traumatic experiences, such as going to the doctors or moving house. Pretend play lets them be the ‘boss’ and regain control in a world where they usually have relatively little control, helping them cope with stressful situations.



Parents who try to play with their children often unwittingly take over and set all the rules, sometimes insisting that the game be played according to ‘reality’ principles. However, such principles may be unrealistic for a young child, and most children quickly get demoralised and give up in this situation. If you can support your child’s play through observation, attention and praise, without taking over, giving advice or competing, she will take great pride in showing you how clever she is. This will not only encourage her to learn but will build her self-esteem and enhance her relationship with you. If, in play, you can help your child have more control over his fantasy world, he will be more cooperative and com-pliant with you in the real world.

The ability to distinguish between reality and fantasy develops with age. Young children may have difficulty remembering which parts really happened and which were part of the game. Similarly, many three to five year olds may have an imaginary friend. This is normal and will pass with time.



When your child is playing, you don’t have to be involved closely all the time. Although he will thrive on your undivided attention, he will also benefit from supportive comments while you work alongside him. Children want you to observe their progress and achievements. Your words can be very powerful in either direction, so it pays to stop and think about what you say and your tone of voice before you speak. Praise goes a long way in building and developing a positive relationship and a willing child.

WHAT IS CHILD-PROOFING?
Making a place safe from children’s curiosity, to prevent accidents, and give carers peace of mind.
  • Set up boundaries so the child can’t get to unsafe areas
  • Remove breakable and dangerous items
  • Put child locks on cupboards/fridges/windows/car doors/ medicine cabinets and other unsafe areas
  • Fix stair gates on stairs
  • Keep all unsafe items out of reach
  • Cover up all electrical wires and plug sockets
Note that shops like Mothercare sell all these items and can provide advice.

Exploration and experimentation

Toddlers need plenty of stimulation so that they can learn and develop. Even if they have many exciting toys, their curiosity will draw them to less safe areas, such as inside cupboards, loose wires and interesting-looking bottles. This is not naughtiness but curiosity, especially if it is not made clear to them what is allowed and what isn’t. Very young children will not respond to being told not to touch. You can make things easier for yourself by ‘child-proofing’ certain areas, so that you can relax and let children explore in safety.

From early on, children want to become independent and do things themselves. They learn by repetitive experiments, so your two-year-old child may enjoy knocking things off his high chair repetitively and watching you pick them up each time. For him, this is a lesson in cause and effect, and helps him learn to think logically. Again, this is not naughtiness, but normal exploration. Even so, you may understandably find this kind of thing irritating and parents vary as to how much of these activities they can tolerate.

It is perfectly appropriate for you to set limits so that your child learns that this behaviour is not tolerated in certain settings. You can set aside special times and places for this game, and distract the child onto some other activity when you’ve had enough. Children of all ages love the repetition of favourite games or songs, but this need to do things over and over starts to disappear once they are out of the toddler stage.

Understanding

Children need to have things explained to them at their own level of understanding. It is important to check that any task you set for your child is manageable and appropriate to the stage of development she is at currently and that she understands what you expect of her. Often, what appears to be disobedience is simple misunderstanding. Repeating the same command louder won’t work in this situation. You need to try another approach.



Young children usually think you mean exactly what you say. If you lose your temper and make an idle threat to send them to a children’s home, for example, they will remember it and believe it, even if you have no such intention! Similarly, young children may not have a clear understanding of the difference between right and wrong so, although it is appropriate to teach them this, shouting and punishing them for bad behaviour will only bewilder and upset them.

Clinginess

Most toddlers are clingy. They are not being this way to irritate you, but are showing you how much they love and need you. Behaving in this way actually makes good sense as toddlers need constant supervision while exploring their environment because they don’t know what’s safe and what isn’t. You have to watch their every move constantly to make sure there are no accidents. They should become less clingy by the time they start at a nursery, as they learn to distinguish for themselves what is and what isn’t safe.

Children may become attached to cuddly toys or soft blankets, using them as comforters when the person they love most is not present. From the child’s point of view, these objects are as individual and unique as people, so if she is having a tantrum about losing an old worn-out toy, offering to buy a new one will not be the same. If the toy can’t be found, you will need to comfort your child over the loss, rather than simply telling her not to be silly.

It is normal for toddlers to be fearful of new situations but excessive clinginess may be related to you being temporarily physically or emotionally unavailable to your child, for instance, because of depression, hospitalisation or long working hours. He will worry that you may abandon him and may become more clingy as a result. If so, shouting at him for behaving this way will only make matters worse. You are more likely to get results if you work on your relationship with your child, reassure him that you love him and will not abandon him, and arrange for him to spend more time in the care of a trusted friend or relative. Giving him regular one-to-one time will help, even if brief, for example, a quick story before bedtime.

Tantrums and the ‘terrible twos’

Around the age of two, children see the world as a place that should be designed to meet their own needs instantly. If they don’t get what they want, it feels like a disaster, and they can scream, yell and cry inconsolably over what to you seems like nothing, especially when they get to the so-called ‘terrible twos’ stage. Some toddlers hold their breath in frustration during a temper tantrum, sometimes to the point of going blue or losing consciousness before making an immediate recovery. It is important to remember that this kind of difficult behaviour is normal in toddlers and three temper tantrums a day may be ‘routine’, although you may need to seek help if the breathholding becomes extreme.

AVOIDING TANTRUMS
  • Make sure that your child is well rested and not overtired, hungry or thirsty
  • Try to keep to a comfortable, predictable routine, especially during stressful times
  • Explain rules clearly in advance and keep them simple and consistent
  • Keep your child active and interested with a variety of activities, a safe space to play, and attention and praise
  • Plan ahead to avoid trouble, for example, on a long journey take plenty of food and drink, toys, little surprises and distractions
  • Always keep a few ‘special treats’ as distractions for a rainy day or bored moment, for example, face paints, pavement chalks, etc.
  • Avoid overexcitement
  • Avoid large quantities of fizzy drinks, sweets, chocolate and food containing large amounts of additives
  • Don’t expect more than he is capable of, for example, don’t expect him to share toys, and set limits
  • If your child becomes irritable despite this (1) find out what is troubling him and resolve it and (2) notice and praise good behaviour in him or a sibling and distract him

Children aged one to two years still don’t understand the difference between ‘mine’ and ‘yours’. The concept of sharing is alien to them and they want to have everything to themselves. It is impossible to explain to a child of this age the merits of sharing, so don’t expect it of your child but teach it over time. With distraction and praise for appropriate behaviour, your child will learn with age to wait for gradually increasing amounts of time and to take turns with other people.

WHAT TO DO IF YOUR CHILD HAS A TANTRUM
  • Try distracting his attention, before the tantrum gets too bad
  • Ignore him or her if possible and remove unsafe objects first if necessary
  • Give all your attention, praise and/or a reward (for example, a biscuit) to a sibling for playing nicely! Hopefully the child will soon follow suit
  • Give him or her an ultimatum: ‘When you’ve stopped crying, then you can have the toy’
  • Stay firm and don’t give in for the sake of peace
  • You can use very brief ‘time out’ without being rejecting by telling your child to go out of the room, leave the trouble or temper outside and then come back in without it. This can be rewarded when achieved
  • If this happens in public, for example, a supermarket, leave the place (with your child, of course!) if you feel too exposed. You have to feel in control of the situation

Problems between brothers and sisters

Toddlers don’t automatically love baby sisters or brothers all the time, but may feel under pressure to behave as if they do. Even if they do love their brother or sister, these feelings may be mixed with fears that the new baby will replace them and that they will be abandoned. Sometimes, these fears will lead them secretly to harm the baby, which is why you should never leave a baby and a toddler in the same room unattended. Whenever you cuddle the baby in front of an older child, she may experience feelings similar to the jealousy of a betrayed lover. She may not be able to understand or express this clearly, so insisting she tells you ‘why’ she feels upset, what is bothering her or why she hurt the baby may just make matters worse, especially if you think you are being particularly patient and she is just being difficult. She is likely to deny having done anything if challenged. She needs a clear message that you disapprove of this behaviour. If you are feeling too upset to control your temper, you could send her out of the room to a safe place until you have both calmed down. Eventually, you need calmly to teach your child what is and what isn’t acceptable behaviour, as well as to show her how much you love her, too. Giving her plenty of support, praise, cuddles and positive attention will reassure her that she is as special to you as ever. Losing your temper and shouting will only make matters worse.

Peer relationships

As children progress through toddlerhood, they will happily play alongside each other and enjoy the companionship of other children, as long as they are not expected to share. At this age, peers are seen as potential rivals and threats. Gradually, they will begin to interact with each other from the age of about two or three years, but will prefer one friend to a group. Young children often find social situations with many children intimidating. As they become more socially confident, they will learn to feel safe in bigger groups, but there is no point in pushing your child into playing with anyone or joining in at a party until he feels ready. It is at these stressful times that children become more anxious. Sitting and watching with your child may feel like a waste of time to you, but for your child this is a way of preparing to join in. Some children learn this later than others. Be patient and supportive, and eventually your child will join in too.

HELPING A TODDLER COPE WITH A NEW BABY
Before the birth
  • Tell your child about the baby as soon as possible
  • Involve your child in the planning
  • Read your child stories about babies that explain the pros and cons
During the birth
  • Make sure that your child is well cared for and nurtured with special treats
After the baby is born
  • Involve your toddler as much as possible with the role of big brother or sister
  • Teach your child how to be helpful
  • Praise your child for all positivity towards the baby (‘You are the best big sister in the world’)
  • Give your child plenty of one-to-one attention regularly without the baby
  • Keep your child occupied and active – do things with her too
  • Give your child plenty of love, cuddles and treats, reassure her that the baby will never replace her: ‘You are the best Jenny in the world – the baby is special but she’s not my Jenny’

Potty training

Young children start to learn to control their bowels and bladder after the age of two years. Some children take longer than others to become potty trained, and boys take longer than girls. If you give it time and patience with lots of praise and support, you will get there. Many bookshops sell helpful ‘potty’ stories with action dolls to match that can assist the process. There is no rush to start potty training, but it is best to start in time for entrance to nursery school, preferably in the summer months when children are more exposed to their ‘bottoms’ and what they do. You can keep a potty in the garden and encourage the child to ‘poo’ or ‘wee’ in it, with rewards or star charts to support this. Do not push it if your child is not ready. It will happen when the time is right. (Please also see the sections on wetting and soiling) If your child is not potty trained after the age of four years, you should consult your health visitor or doctor.

HELPFUL TIPS FOR POTTY TRAINING
  • Make a toilet a fun place with books and toys to read on the potty, for example, you can get a potty that plays tunes when the child pees!
  • Blowing balloons while sitting on the potty can teach your child how to ‘push’
  • Toilets can be scary places, so stay with your child until he or she feels safe, and stay near to help clean up
  • Elasticated nappies that can be pushed down can be helpful for toddlers who want to become independent

Food fads and food refusal

Some children are fussy or faddy eaters, and the prospect of eating anything unusual can be very distressing for them. There is a fine line between insisting that they eat a wider variety of foods and understanding that they are anxious and upset, and letting them eat what they like – which is, of course, a much easier way out for the parents. Sometimes, if a child is particularly fussy about his food one day, it may be because of some unrelated upset that needs to be sorted out before the food issue can be resolved.

If you provide your child with tempting, healthy food options regularly, and praise and reward her for tasting them (without making an issue out of it), you are more likely to ensure that she gets a sufficiently nutritious diet than if you engage in battles over food. Battles will only make matters worse. If your child dislikes the food you offer and you can’t afford the time or money to make anything else, she will eventually eat when she is hungry. You can stay firm and point out that this is what is on offer and it is this or nothing without getting into arguments. You can then accept whatever your child chooses to do, while pointing out that it is not OK to fill up on chocolate or crisps. When your child has eaten some of the food, perhaps then she can have some chocolate. You have to choose the important rules and stick to them.

You should seek professional advice if you are concerned or if your child’s diet remains excessively restricted. Your health visitor or GP may need to check that your child is growing and developing normally and that there is no physical cause for her eating problem.

Primary school age

Once children reach primary school age, they become much more independent, less self-centred, and more interested in children of the same age and in activities outside their home. They have an endless need to learn and may ask you incessant questions. This is normal and not done to irritate you. If you are able to answer these questions sensibly and see them as a natural part of growing up, you will find them less irritating. You may even become infected by your child’s enthusiasm and curiosity.

As your child gets older, he will understand more about ‘cause and consequence’ and the principles of right and wrong. The downside of this is that your eight year old may expect you to stick to exactly what you said in the past (‘But you promised!’), as he still holds on to the concept that ‘your word is your word no matter what’. He will be very caught up in making sure that you stick rigidly to ‘right and wrong’ if you have made it clear that you expect him to do so; therefore if you can’t keep a promise, whatever the reason, he is ‘right’ and you are ‘wrong’. Unless you acknowledge this, he will be difficult to handle. Your 11 year old, however, will be able to think more flexibly and understand that, when you run out of money unexpectedly, you simply can’t afford the bicycle you had promised him.

Anxiety and upsets

Anxiety and upset can lead to difficult behaviour, including whining, nagging, clinging, shyness, or a refusal to go to parties or to school. For children who have difficulty confiding in their family about any upsets, stress can lead to physical symptoms such as various aches and pains. Many children, for example, develop ‘tummy ache’ when they are anxious about going to school. Most often, taking time to find out what the problem is at school, by talking to your child and his teacher, will lead to a resolution of the problem which could be anything from bullying to difficulties with school work. If school work is a problem, and a child feels stupid or is criticised for something that he cannot understand, it is important to assess where the difficulty lies, provide adequate learning support and praise him for progress made. This will raise his self-esteem and decrease the upset.



Although upset behaviour is common and should improve if you handle it sensitively and firmly, you should also rule out persistent anxiety or depression (see ‘Medical and psychiatric conditions’). Consider these as possible causes if your child is persistently unhappy or anxious or is unable to function independently at school, despite your intervention. Children with these difficulties may feel bored, miserable and irritable. Severe anxiety can present with panic attacks, obsessional or impulsive behaviours, or phobias. These conditions are treatable and should not be missed, so if you are concerned take your child to the doctor.

If children are upset, it is important to try to understand their feelings, encouraging and praising them for even the smallest steps forward to build their low self-esteem, rather than criticising them for their failures. Teachers and parents who care enough to take time to understand and support the child can make all the difference.

Friends

It is usual for children to fall in and out with various friends over time; this is a necessary learning process for them in the course of their development. Some children seem to be loners and are uninterested in having friends but it is more common for a child to want friends but to have difficulty developing these relationships. The ability to keep positive relationships as a child is closely related to positive outcomes in adulthood, in terms of having good relationships at home and at work, and you should be concerned if your child is unable to make any friends at all.

You need to be supportive and understanding, but also must let your child learn to sort out her own problems when necessary. You can promote friendships by inviting other children over, rewarding your child for good behaviour and continuing to work on positive family relationships. Her relationships at home are the basis on which she will model her social behaviour elsewhere.

If your child is unpopular and remains so despite your support and encouragement, you may want to consider investigating a number of possible causes for this, including cultural or intellectual differences from her peers and/or school environment, racism, a shy withdrawn temperament or a specific underlying behavioural or medical problem (see later).
 
KEY POINTS
  • All children develop differently and at their own pace; however, most children go through the same developmental milestones eventually
  • At first, babies are totally dependent on others and most will at some stage go through a phase of not wanting to be apart from their carers
  • Toddlers and pre-school children can be demanding as they develop independence and social confidence
  • Primary school-age children become more interested in other children and the world around them
  • Sensitive parenting is the key to developing close and trusting relationships at any age
  • You have a huge amount of power and influence as a parent that can help create resilience in your child, whatever your current situation and whatever their age