Coping with infertility

Most couples with fertility problems go through a stressful experience. Some will ultimately be successful and will move on from this phase of their life. There will, however, be some couples who will never manage to have a child. In some way, they have to learn to cope with the situation and to carry on with their lives.
In many respects, these couples are experiencing a loss or absence, focusing on the children they are unable to have. Some cope well with all of this, others not so well. The support and understanding of family and close friends can be invaluable but, sadly, this is not always available. Couples who have not experienced the emotional pain of childlessness themselves may find it difficult to understand the depth and duration of the sadness it causes.
Genuine depression will be a problem for some couples and may require medical treatment. For others, infertility can lead to difficulties in their relationship and professional counselling may be necessary.
Coming to terms with not having children can take many years. Sometimes, this adjustment will be easier if a couple feels that they have done everything possible to achieve a pregnancy, even if this means a final attempt at a treatment that has a very low chance of success. Infertility clinic nurses and doctors try to help people cope with their infertility. The difficult decision to stop treatment can sometimes liberate a couple to get on with their lives.
It is important for couples to recognise that their inability to conceive should not affect how they view themselves as men or women and is not a reflection of their sexual activity. Men with sperm problems often experience anxiety and emotional difficulties because of confusion between fertility and virility. A man with a very low or absent sperm count will still be producing normal levels of testosterone and other male hormones. His masculinity and sexual potency will be the same as for any other man.